November Rain
by marypussycat79
Summary: In a AU Jim is working undercover in a psychiatric hospital where he meets a broken Blair...
1. November 11

**November Rain **

a Sentinel story - I don't own the characters, I just had fun playing with them :D

* * *

November, 11 – h. 8.30 p.m.

On the fourth consecutive rainy day in Cascade, with dark heavy clouds in the sky covering the city and the following drop of temperature, Jim Ellison's temper was not good. He had spent the last days in the Cascade Mental Health Care, working undercover as an assistant, to find evidences of the presumed murderer happened two weeks before. A man, about 65, without relatives, whose physical health had always been good or good enough, considering his old age - despite the fact that he was in a Psychiatric Hospital – had been found dead in his room. The fact in itself was not so strange. But what made Jim Captain's suspicious was that this was the third death in that place in a month and a half; the circumstances were always the same: the men were all in good health until the day they were found dead without an apparent reason. Nobody found it strange and the case was closed. But Captain Banks had ordered his best detective, Jim Ellison, to make some more researches and what he found was enough to justify his undercover assignment.

But, as he had learned in the last days, in the movies it would had been a easy task while reality was much different. The first difficulty he met in his daily work at the Clinic – that was the way the personnel who worked in the Hospital called it – was to maintain a security distance between himself and the people admitted. Jim had always considered himself a brave policeman, but the first night after a long day at the clinic, in the silence of his bedroom he cried. He saw many young men, all wearing the same grey uniform, wander all the day in the anonymous rooms or watching the tv in the sitting room, moving as puppets when the orderlies came to them with their medications or when it was time for them to sleep. There was no light in their eyes. They were so lost in their mind that nothing reached them. They were quiet most of the time, because of the heavy drugs they were given, most of them, but someone sometimes had a crisis and in an instant the boneless puppet became a danger for himself and the other patients. It usually took less than a few minutes for the orderlies to recover from the surprise of the sudden outburst of energy in an otherwise catatonic man: the poor one was immediately surrounded by heavy assistants, whose task was to make him retreat in a corner and then calm him in many ways. Sometimes a straight-jacket was enough, sometimes they had to sedate the patient: in every case, all the benefits the man had gained before the "Episode" were lost. Jim wasn't prepared for all these and the brutality of the situation hit him hard.

Starting from his second day of work in the Clinic, he willingly maintained a security distance between him and the patients, trying not to be involved in their personal history. That was the only way if he wanted to solve the case.

That night, he was dead on his feet and his only wish was to go home and have a long hot shower and don't – absolutely don't - think about his work. But he still had to call his Captain to tell him about the development on the investigation and that thought made him not particularly happy. He decided to call in his car, before heading home, wishing the man to be in a good mood. He was half way to his Ford when he heard a faint heartbeat coming from nearby. He looked around but he saw no one in the parking space, the few cars were all cold and empty from their owners. Moving closer to his one, he caught a glimpse of a movement and the heartbeat sped up. Someone was hiding behind his car, that was clear. But who? Jim did not believed a possible thief would had waited for him in the rain. He carefully approached the left side of the vehicle where a young boy, very thin and completely soaked, was huddled on the floor. The hard rain prevented him to hear the detective coming so when Jim made his presence clear he jumped in surprised and began trembling, trying to hide under the car.

"Boy, it's O.K. You don't have to fear me! Come on, get out from under the car so you can tell me your name. I'm Jim Dillinger." Ellison was his real name, but he couldn't risk his covering.

The boy gave no signal to have understood and tried to escape coming out from under the car on its right side. But as he was on his feet again he saw Jim in front of him, blocking his only way out. In a last desperate move, he raised a big piece of glass with a trembling hand, pushing the sharp edge in the soft skin of his own neck.

Jim went very still and tried to reassure him that he was safe and he surely wouldn't do anything to hurt him so please to put the glass down.

"Come on, I only want to help! I promise I won't hurt you. Just let me help you. Please!"

"L-let me g-go!" he said in a raspy voice.

"I can't buddy! You're soaked and you need clean and dry clothes…" speaking of clothes, Jim noticed the grey uniform and the identification bracelet the boy wore on his right wrist. He noticed also that he was wearing only socks, no shoes. His trembling had increased in the few minutes he had been standing. Jim guessed the boy was in shock and was determined to take him inside the hospital – again – so to have someone to help him. "… at least can you tell me your name?"

"I s-said… let m-me go or I'll kill myself!". A thin trickle of blood poured down his neck. The boy was determined not to be touched.

"Ok, buddy, calm down now. You're going to hurt yourself. Please, let me help…"

"N-no! Go away!" he shouted.

Suddenly, a lightning exploded in the sky followed by a loud thunder. The boy got scared and Jim take advantage of his weakness to hold him in a bear hug. The glass fell on the ground. The boy tried to escape but he was too weak and exhausted to fight. After a few minutes, he became limp in the taller man's arms. Jim carefully deposited the light bundle in the passenger seat of his car, taking time. He took a soft towel from his gym bag and carefully dried the stranger's face and hair. "Beautiful" was his first thought. Suddenly, Jim felt so sad for this young man who minutes ago was so desperate to try to kill himself. "What happened to you, chief?" he asked to his unconscious passenger "Let me see your bracelet, what's your name buddy?" Jim took the boy's small hand in his and read the item: BLAIR SANDBURG. Cascade M.E.C. West Wing – Doctor J. Madler. "Ok, Blair, I'm sorry but I have no choice here. You need medical attention. I don't know what were you escaping from but I promise I will help you, once you're better. Oh my God, Chief, you're burning up!".

The detective wrapped his jacket around Blair's small frame and gathering him in his arms he rushed to main entrance of the Clinic. The orderly at the desk, after calling Blair's doctor, led Jim the way to West Wing where there were expecting them. Dr. Madler was there too.

"Dr. Madler, I found Blair in the parking. I don't know how much time he spent there in the rain but he's cold and I think he is running a high fever. I hope you can help him!" Jim declared breathless.

The older man checked his patient and quickly instructed the orderlies that took Blair from Jim's arms to lay him down on a gurney. They removed Jim's jacket and the boy started to shiver.

"He needs dry clothes." The detective added.

"Don't worry. We will take care of him. We were worried about him. Thank you, Mr. Dillinger! Now, if you excuse me, I need to take care of Blair."

The doctor disappeared with Blair. Jim had done his duty. Blair was going to be alright. Jim was sure of it. Once outside the main building of the hospital, he felt better. He had saved the kid's life tonight. Before starting the engine of the car, he phoned his captain. It took him only five minutes to update him and he was satisfied. Everything was going as planned tonight.

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2**

Reviews are most welcome!


	2. November 14

November, 14

On Monday Jim was back to work in the Clinic. He had been able to visit unnoticed by the personnel the Hospital's Archives and was satisfied of the information he gained. But he had to wait the evening to talk with his Captain and to decide the next move. He surely wouldn't risk to nullify the whole operation.

He decided to spent the last hour of his turn visiting Blair. He thought that, after the events of Friday night, Dr. Madler would had contacted him to thank him again for saving his patient's life, if not to share personal information about the boy's conditions at least to let him know how the boy was doing, but that didn't happen. Jim felt a growing feeling of discomfort and worry thinking about what Dr. Madler could had done to Blair in these three days. But then, trying to be rational, the detective also knew that if he had let the boy escape in the rain, like he suggested, he surely would had died alone in the streets in his feverish state. _You did the right thing, detective. And don't forget the boy has his problems. Who knows why was he admitted in the Clinic?_ Lost in his thoughts, he found himself in the West Wing again, talking to an orderly who did not seem too happy to see him. His name was Frank Marshall. Jim had already seen him around the Clinic.

"Hello. I'm Jim Dillinger. On Friday night I took here a boy, his name is Blair Sandburg. He is a patient of Dr. Madler. He was very sick. I was wondering if I could talk to his doctor." He explained to the man on the other side of a large heavy security door.

"Why do you want to talk to his doctor? You took him here, you did the right thing. I'm sure they took care of him." The man replied in an annoying tone.

"I am sure of that but… Blair is a very good friend of mine and since I am here…"

The innocent face Jim displayed while performing his act was successful, because the orderly gave him a tired look and sighed deeply, nodding his head.

"Look, Mr. …"

"Dillinger!"

"Look, Mr. Dillinger. Doctor Madler isn't here at the moment. He should be back tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. I don't think he will be too happy to talk to you. If I let you talk to the patient now, can I be sure you won't bothering him tomorrow?"

"Of course I'd like to talk to Blair. But, you know, I need to know how is he doing for real and I need to contact his doctor, one way or another. I don't see any reasons why he should be upset if I am interested in my friend's health!" Jim explained calmly.

"If he is a good friend of yours, like you said, why didn't you know he was sick? And why do you come here only now? Do you know when he was admitted? I guess you are trying to fool me. I think you're playing the act of the old friend in visit. I don't believe you. You don't know the boy but for some reason you want to see him and his doctor. Well, let me tell you one thing: I don't care about your reasons and I don't care if you talk to him or not. But I don't want you to make the doctor mad at me because of your friend. He doesn't like people like you. So, if you want, I will show you the patient's room and you have exactly 30 minutes to talk to him. My turn ends at 9 p.m. and I want you out of way for that hour, do you understand?"

The detective decided not to waste any more time and nodded. The heavy door was opened and without a word Frank Marshall escorted him to room number 15.

"He is in there. Blair Sandburg. Age 28. He was admitted on October, 22. Tempted suicide."

Jim instinctively hold his breath when he heard about the reason why he was admitted and Marshall took advantage of his surprise teasing him again.

"You didn't know that, am I right? Well, as I said, I don't care. As long as you stay away from Dr Madler, I don't remember you being here neither our conversation. If you don't want to stay here all night, be sure to be at the gate at 9 p.m.".

Jim didn't like the man and his tone but he had no other choice of accepting his conditions.

"I'll be there. Now, will you open this door?" he asked finally.

The orderly complied and disappeared in the corridor. Jim entered the small room and felt sick at his stomach. If someone was thinking of suicide, then surely this was not the right place to find a reason to live. The walls were bare and smooth, painted in grey as the ceiling and the pavement. A lonely white fluorescent light enlightened the place. There was a high window on the far wall, with gratings on the outside. The only furniture in the room was a metal single bed where a very pale and unconscious Blair laid with wrist and ankles secured in restraints. No one thought about covering him with a blanket and Jim instinctively took the one at the foot of the bed and carefully placed it on his legs and torso. Since there were no chairs, the detective sat on the left side of the bed and studied Blair carefully. Despite the lack of color, Jim was fascinated by the perfect symmetry of his face, that gave him a clever expression. His head was an unruly mass of soft curls; Jim could not resist to caress them. He seemed much better than three nights ago, at least the fever was gone.

"Who are you?" a tiny voice whispered from the bed.

Jim, caught by surprise, found himself at loss of words. Blair was studying him carefully with big blue eyes. He tried to move but the restraints didn't let him. He let out a small sigh and waited. Finally Jim found his voice to answer.

"I am Jim Dillinger, the one who found you in the parking on Friday night. Do you remember me?" he spoke in a calm tone, not wanting to upset Blair.

"You took me back?"

"I'm sorry. You were burning up with fever. I couldn't let you outside by yourself. You would had died."

Blair turned his head away from him and fell silent. Jim felt guilty.

"I didn't know what to do. I am sure here you're well taken care of. And once you feel better, you'll come out of here back to your life." Jim lied. Miserably. His first instinct that night was to take the kid home with him and he didn't do it. Now he didn't know what to say to help him and he was embarrassed at his own awkwardness. His time was finishing and he had to hurry up.

"Blair, I'm sorry if I didn't help you the way you would. But if there is something I can do now, please, tell me. I would like to be your friend, if you let me."

Jim wasn't sure the boy had understood his words and the reasons for he was with him at the moment. He seemed lost in his own mind. The moment Jim made a move to stand up, Blair captured his hand and hold it in his. Surprised, the detective realized there were tears in the boy's eyes.

"I don't hate you, Jim. I know you did what you thought the best for me. Thank you. I owe you my life. But we cannot be friends. They won't let us." He whispered tiredly. Then closed his eyes. "It's time for you to go, the orderly is leaving."

He was right, Marshall was about to close the door of the wing in a few minutes. But something Blair said had made him sick.

"Who's they, Chief? How can I help you?" he urged.

"You must leave."

Jim was desperate to achieve as much information as possible from Blair, but there was no time. He was right. He had to leave now.

"Ok, Blair, but I'll come back. You just try to hang in there and I'll come back to you as soon as I can."

He kissed the top of his curly head and hurried out of the room, closing it from the corridor. In a few minutes he was outside the building. As soon as he reached his car, he dialed Rafe's number. He was going to ask him a big favor. At the third ring, he heard his colleague's voice.

"Hey Jim, how is it going? Still working?"

"Rafe, I know it's late but I need you to do me a favor. It's personal, so please do not tell Simon about it."

The concerned tone in Ellison's voice made the other man changing instantly attitude.

"Of course, Jim. What do you need?" he asked.

"I'd like to know everything about a kid, his name is Blair Sandburg. He is 28. I want to know what does he do, where does he live, everything! Can you find out?"

"May I ask you why, Jim? Is he suspected?"

"No, he is a victim."

"A victim? Is he dead?"

"No, he's not dead! Please, Rafe, cut the questions. Just get me the information!" Jim urged.

"As you wish, buddy. I'll let you know. Good night."

And he hang up the phone.

_Ok, now for the worst part._

RING RING

"Banks!"

"Simon, it's Jim!"

"Jim, nice of you to call. Look, I'm still in my office working on the case so why don't you come over here? I'll wait for you in twenty minutes!"

"I'll be there!"

_Great, just great! I hope it won't take us all night!_

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3**

Reviews are very welcome!


	3. November 15

November, 15 (Cascade M.H.C. h. 1 a.m.)

In Dr. Madler's office, two men were arguing. They both wore orderly uniforms and seemed quite anxious. One of them was pacing furiously the room while the other was sitting on the edge of the doctor's desk, looking at the other in disbelief.

"I told you it was dangerous to keep the boy here! You should had killed him when you could. We don't know what he told to Dillinger!" the pacing one hissed.

"He was still feverish. And Dillinger was with him only 20 minutes. Calm down, Larry. The man doesn't know anything!" the other replied.

"We have to be sure! That Sandburg can identify us. If he thinks he's alone here I can convince him to keep the mouth closed. Last time I talked to him he was really scared of me. But he could change his mind. He could talk with someone. We cannot risk to spoil everything, not at this point. Two more weeks and we're out of this hell!"

"So, what do you suggest?"

Larry stopped his pacing and smiled fondly to his companion. "I think Mr. Sandburg needs a special treatment: two sessions of Electro Convulsive Therapy per week should be enough to keep him out of the games."

"I knew you were a claver man! Let's talk to Dr. Madler!"

* * *

(Simon Banks' office h. 2 a.m.)

A very tired Jim and a highly distressed Banks sat in their chairs on opposite sides of the Captain's desk. It was 2 a.m. and both men were not in a good mood, but they were close to the end of the case.

"So, Jim, repeat me once again where are we!" the older man asked, chewing his cigar.

Sighing, Ellison prepared himself to tell for the tenth time his conclusions.

"I made some researches about the victims. Three men, without relatives, admitted in the Cascade M.H.C. as requested by Dr. John Madler. I checked the archives and found all three of them had been taken from their houses by two orderlies, whose names are Larry Malansky and Ron Miller. They work in the Clinic. There is nothing on their files of some importance. They both were transferred a couple of years ago from another Institute in Pennsylvania and they are considered very valuable orderlies, mostly because of their "ability" to calm down aggressive patients. That's what comes out from the archives."

"Tell me something I don't know, Jim!"

"I believe these two guys and Dr. Madler steal the patient's identity. After they obtain the power of attorney on him, they take out false insurances which they pay with the patients' money. After a while, the old man dies in the Hospital. Nobody suspects anything because the death certificate is signed by the famous psychiatrist himself. The Insurance Company pays the false relatives. At the end, they spare in four parts the rich plunder. The most important thing is that they have to be sure that their victims are on their own, without living relatives. I think Malansky and Miller do the dirty work, Dr. Madler give them a legal covering and a fourth person makes the necessary researches and takes out the insurances."

The Captain had listened the detective's talk carefully. Jim could see from his frowning expression that he was processing the whole story and something didn't convince him.

"I don't understand one thing. They have to stipulate the insurances using the patients' real name. But even Rafe did not find out anything! How is that possible?"

"It's not so difficult. The fourth person outside gave the Insurance Company his own address. That's why we didn't find any contract in the victims' belongings. And the payment did not result on the victims' bank accounts. Since there are no databases concerning the insurance policies, it was impossible for us to know. And don't forget there were no official investigations about their death."

"Yeah. That's true! But how did YOU know then, Jim?"

"I heard Miller speaking on the phone with someone about it. I believe it was our outside man. I asked to phone company the complete Miller's phone calls printout. I think that an accurate inquiry of the people Miller called and a comparison with their bank account will give us the name we are searching for!"

Finally satisfied, Banks let out a sigh and allowed himself to relax. Both men stood up and headed for the elevator, after switching off the lights.

"Good job, Jim. When do you think you'll find out the man's name?" the Captain asked in a casual tone.

"I don't know. I think it could be in a day or two. But, Captain, I don't think I should leave my work at the Clinic. Until we are not sure, I don't want them to suspect of me."

"You're a smart man, Ellison. Rafe will do the hard work, then. As soon as we have that name, I'll call you! Good night, Jim. Be careful!"

"As always! Good night, Simon!"

The parking was empty, if not for their two cars, and it was raining again. Suddenly, Jim remembered the night he found Blair. He hoped the kid was safe. _I promise, Blair, I will take you out of that Hospital, as soon as this undercover assignment ends. Hold on for a couple of days!_

* * *

(Cascade M.H.C. – Parking Space – h. 2 p.m.)

"Jim, it's Rafe. I've got the information you asked me. Can you write?"

"Yes. Tell me." was Jim's short reply.

"This kid, Blair Sandburg, disappeared on October 25. He left his apartment and the university, where he was working as a fellow teacher. He has a living mother, whose name is Naomi. No father. No other relatives. His last address in 165 Lincoln Avenue."

"Thank you very much!" and he hang up. _Finally I have something to start with. Hold on Blair!_

* * *

(Cascade M.H.C. – Treatment room number 2 – h. 4 p.m.)

Blair had been admitted in the treatment room. Nobody had explained him what they were going to do. He believed they were going to run some tests on him. He did not feel mad, just sick and tired: that was because of the drugs he had been given. There were many people in the room and many strange equipments. The kid waited for them to finish the preparation for the "exam" half asleep in the gurney. He was still in restraints but even if he wouldn't be, he was too weak to escape. At some point, he was released and transferred on another gurney. Every people in the room came closer to him: from his supine position, he could see one orderly on his left, one on his right plus a doctor above his head. Another orderly made him open his mouth and the doctor inserted a gummy item with a small handle in it. Then a strange cap was placed on his head. Blair wasn't afraid, just curious. He wasn't prepared for the electrical discharge that made his whole body trembling and going in convulsions for many long minutes. Everything hurt and he felt a sharp pain in his head, where the cap touched his skin. It was hell. Luckily, at some point, he lost consciousness.

**TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4**


	4. November 18

November, 18

On Thursday, Jim was told by his Captain that the following day they were going to arrest the two orderlies and Dr. Madler. Despite in the movies there is always a chase and a gunfire before good policemen can get to the bad boys, it all went as planned. They found the Doctor in his office and he didn't even try to fight them. In less than ten minutes they had Malansky and Miller in a car and Dr. Madler in another, directed to the Police Station. Jim, grateful his assignment was finished, was going to leave the hospital in plain clothes when he decided to visit Blair to check on him one last time. He could not explain the reason, but he felt connected to the boy and he really wanted to help him. It was something that never happened to him. He was a very tough guy and it usually took him quite some times before admitting he had feelings for another person, man or woman; he was always very careful not to hurt their feelings; he did not like the "one night affairs" because he was a man or rigid principles. Being a cop, if he knew someone was in danger or physically hurt, he did everything in his power to help him but usually, as soon as the person was taken care of, he considered he had done his duty to him. It happened that, sometimes, he met some of them accidentally in Cascade: that times he was glad to talk to them and to see how they were going; but that was all. After a bier and a little talk, he was back to his life. With Blair, well, it was different: he thought about him the all night after finding him in the parking. When he left him in the ward and then when he visited him, Jim felt his own heart ache to see him in restraints, confined to the bed. Something was going on with this young man, he remembered perfectly well what did he say: "They won't let us!". The kid was afraid of talking, he was afraid of someone. Or maybe he was simply delusional. That was a possibility and Jim couldn't ignore it. But he was determined to know if the boy was really in danger – and in that case he would had to infringe many rules to help him – or not.

The orderly that led Jim to Blair's room informed the detective that the kid probably wasn't able to answer his questions.

"He is still recovering from the ECT."

Jim knew what the abbreviation ECT meant: a sadistic procedure in which a high voltage was applied to the unarmed patient with the purpose to make him quiet. It was a painful remedy to cure extreme aggressiveness when the drugs were not helpful. But speaking of Blair, he couldn't believe his own ears.

"When did he have it?" he finally asked.

"Three days ago. Here we are, detective! I'll leave the door open. Be sure to close it when you leave." The orderly explained stopping in front of Blair's room, before leaving him alone.

Jim entered the small room, the same he visited some days before. The kid was on the small bed, sat with the back to the wall with both legs bent to his chest, rocking slowly back and forth with his head resting on his knees. The detective approached him carefully and sat near him. He wasn't sure Blair knew he was in the room. He sat there for some minutes in silence, studying him closely. After a while, he decided to try and talk to him because this was the last occasion he had. Blair was staring vacantly at some point on the opposite wall so Jim took place in front of him.

"Blair, it's Jim. Do you remember me?" he asked cautiously.

The boy did not stop his movement and remained silent, lost in his own mind.

"I came to see you a few days ago and you told me you were afraid of someone… you told me that we could not be friends because _they wouldn't let us_."

Hoping to see Blair react to his words, the detective paused in his speech, but the kid did not comply. Desperate to find a way to reach him, Jim continued.

"I am a police officer. I was working undercover in this hospital to collect evidences to get to some dangerous criminals. We arrested them today. So, you understand, I won't be here tomorrow because my work is finished. I… I really want to help you, Chief, but you have to talk to me now!"

If Jim wouldn't had had sentinel abilities, he wouldn't have heard Blair's whispering in a very soft voice: "You're not real, why don't you leave me alone?"

Jim's heart almost stopped. The kid believed he was a ghost, or something. Cupping his face with both hands, he looked at him in his big blue eyes and spoke very quietly.

"I am real, Blair. Why do you think I am a ghost?"

"I am… confused… I can't think straight…"

Unable to continue, he fell silent, avoiding Jim's gaze.

"I know you're confused, right now, and you don't know if you can trust me. But when I came to you, the first time, you talked to me and you trusted me. I can't give any guarantees to prove you that I am telling you the truth but… wait a moment, have a look at my badge! I am a cop, a real cop. Come on, Chief, have a look at it!" the detective urged, holding the item in his left hand towards the terrified figure on the bed.

After what seemed an eternity, Blair slowly reached Jim's badge and touched it with his trembling hand, with tears in his eyes.

"You are here for real… I am not dreaming… you are here for real…"

Jim could not resist and hold him close and Blair did not fight him but relaxed in his arms.

"You're not dreaming… You're going to be fine, Chief, I promise!"

As if a dam had been removed, Blair started to cry his misery in the older man's arms. When he was finished, he found the courage to speak again and tell Jim what he felt during the treatment and after, when he was back in his room; he explained that at the beginning he couldn't even remember who he was or where he was. When Jim asked him if he had tried to kill himself, he absolutely denied. The detective explained him that this was the reason for he was admitted in the hospital.

"Jim… I am still far from normal, I know, but I swear I have never thought about suicide!"

Feeling the kid was growing nervous, Jim decided it was time to end the interrogation. In his fragile state, Blair couldn't have lied to him, he was certain of that. And if he didn't try to kill himself, it was an act: someone wanted him out of the games because… Jim didn't know why but he was determined to find out. Despite his instinct was to take the kid home with him, he knew he did not have any authority to do it. Blair was now resting peacefully in his arms and he felt guilty to leave him alone but he had no other choices. With exquisite care, he lowered him on the bed, explaining him he was going to come back in a few days.

"Why don't you try to sleep, now? You seem exhausted! You rest and wait for me, will you do that?" he asked softly.

"I can do that. 'night, Jim!" was the sleepy reply.

Leaving the Hospital, Jim thought that, if Blair still wasn't completely safe, at least he had been able to give him some comfort and some moments of peace.

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 5**

**Reviews are welcome! **


	5. November 19

November 19

Jim asked his Captain some days off after the arrest of Malansky, Miller, Madler and Johnson (the forth man on the outside) but he wasn't lucky. His presence was absolutely necessary at the precinct and Simon wanted him to personally interrogate the suspects. It took him a good six hours to get a full confession from Malansky and Miller. That and the evidences they collected was more than enough to put the four or them behind bars for many years.

Banks was more than happy to the declare the case "closed", go home, take a shower and spend some time with his son. Jim had other plans; he could not rest, not until Blair was still in the Hospital. Something Miller had said to his stall aroused Jim's suspects, precisely that "they had to kill the boy that night instead of follow Dr. Madler's orders". Now the detective was trying to clear his mind and to put together all the pieces of the puzzle. Blair had disappeared on October 25. On October 24, in an alley a couple of blocks far from the kid's home, a homeless found the body of a young man, killed with insane brutality. A student. Since there were no witnesses, the case was closed. Now, maybe this was just a coincidence, but Jim thought otherwise: Blair was a fellow teacher that lived not far from the crime scene, it was possible that he saw the victim still alive with his murderer in that alley. Maybe he knew the victim too. Scared, instead of calling the police, he returned home hoping the murderer had not noticed him. The following day, he was admitted in the Cascade M.H.C. and taken in Dr. Madler's ward. Was that another coincidence? No, Jim was now convinced that Blair had been somehow involved in the criminal activities of the four men ha had arrested. Miller's words gave Jim the correct answer to his questions: the two (false) orderlies were in the alley with the poor student, where they killed him. Unfortunately, Blair came out in time to see them. Not knowing what to do, they called Dr. Madler that suggested them to let him be for the moment because he knew a better way to silence him without killing him. His plan was to hold the kid in the psych ward, for the rest of his life if necessary, until they were waiting to go somewhere else. If Blair had talked about them with someone, after their departure, he wouldn't be believed. What Jim needed were evidences.

He went to Blair's apartment and found it was a mess. Blair had probably tried to escape when the men had caught him. He talked to Blair's neighbor, a young woman, whose name was Lucy Mellow. She wasn't too helpful to Jim. She was very sad because she and Blair were close friends but didn't think to call the police after his disappearing. And why should she? She had been told, at the university, that he had tried to kill himself and for this reason he was admitted in a mental hospital. Jim asked her if she hadn't found the fact strange. _"People who always talk about suicide usually don't have the courage to do it. I thought Blair was one of these guys that pretended to be normal… I mean he used to go out with girls and friends, I would have never suspected he was so depressed!"_. Before leaving, she informed the detective that the landlord was going to sell Blair's belongings because he wanted to rent the apartment, since it was clear he wouldn't had returned. Jim thanked the girl and went to the Landlord's apartment to ask him to wait a couple of days, so to let him pack Blair's things. Surprised by the request, the man made no objections.

Next, Jim went to see the crime scene where the student was found. Despite the murder was committed many days before, he still could detect a particular scent that reminded him of Malansky: it was the sharp smell of the nicotine bubble gum the man was chewing. That was what he needed to convince his Captain. It was almost 11 p.m. but Jim decided to call him anyway. The older man wasn't so pleased to hear him but accepted to see him to let him explain what he had discovered.

Two hours later, Jim was on his way home. He couldn't persuade his Captain to go to the Hospital that night and he knew he was right, after all. They needed to formalize the charges at Dr. Madler before taking Blair out. It took them the all day. Jim hoped Blair was holding on.

November 21

Blair, confined in his cell, was having a hard time. He felt much better even if he was still scared. He hadn't seen Malansky and Miller around since a couple of days and Dr. Madler was absent too. But it was the weekend. He thought they were simply living their life on the outside. He expected them to return that morning to threaten him. But he was waiting for Jim. The man said he would had helped him and he someway knew he was sincere. His worst fear was to endure another E.C.T. session. The only thought of it was enough to make him scream, which he did not at the moment, but later, when two orderlies went to bring him to the Treatment Room, he fought them and screamed until his throat was on fire; he actually hurt one of them and that cost him to be brutally restrained. There was no way to escape. Once he was taken in the room, an orderly tried to calm him with caring words but Blair couldn't listen, he couldn't stop to fight them. When he saw the machinery on the table near him, he let out an agonizing scream that echoed in the long corridor.

Jim choose that moment to enter the Ward and instantly understood what was going to happen. He ran as fast as he could and burst in the room waving his badge in his right hand. The doctor, surprised, stepped back from Blair, but the kid continued to scream incoherently. Jim quickly explained the doctor that he had to take his patient in protective custody since he was the witness of a murder. That and his forceful manners convinced the man that ordered the rest of the staff to leave the room. Jim hurried to Blair's side to free him and it took him a while to calm him. Half an hour later, Jim emerged from the hospital with a trembling Blair who was holding heavily on him. Jim had offered to carry him all the way to the car but he refused, saying that he needed to leave the place on his feet. As soon as they reached Simon's car, the kid collapsed and Jim gathered him in his arms and carefully deposited him on the back seat.

"Oh my God, Jim, what the hell happened?" the older man asked.

"Simon, please, take us home!" was Jim's reply.

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 6**

**Reviews are, as usual, appreciated! **


	6. November 22 part 1

November 22 (Jim's apartment – h 2 a.m.)

Blair awoke around 2 a.m., confused and frightened. He was not in his cell at the hospital but in a large bedroom, a regular one, composed by a comfortable bed (where he had been resting) and night tables, two wicker chairs where multiple layers of clothes had been deposited, a dresser and a wall mirror; a door on the left wall indicated where the wardrobe was. The big bed was positioned against the wall with its night tables; from his position Blair could see, in the shadows, the chairs at the feet of the bed on his left and right side, the dresser against the wall on his right, the mirror and the wardrobe door on the left wall. In front of him there was a iron banister. The room was illuminated by the city lights filtering from the very tall windows of the sitting room, connected to the bedroom by a stairway. The place gave him a sense of peace and quiet; in fact, after a while, he was able to relax and listen to the sounds filling the apartment: there was a light buzzing coming probably from the fridge and a soft snoring coming from the sitting room, where Jim was sleeping on the couch. Blair had always had a good instinct and now he was feeling confused – because he didn't recall leaving the hospital, entering the apartment where he was, least of all going to bed – but there he felt safe; he decided to trust his instinct and got up, finding out someone had dressed him in soft sweat pants and shirt, too big for him but definitely comfortable. Someone that could be only Jim. He descended the stairs as silently as he could, because he needed to use the bathroom and he did not want to wake the man downstairs, but Jim woke up suddenly and Blair, caught by surprise and deathly scared, let out a scream and run away from the older man, finally sliding down against the wall, near the main door. Jim, angry at himself for having fallen asleep and for scaring the kid, was on his knees at his side immediately but maintained a security distance, so not to startle him even more. He spoke to him as he had learnt to speak with crime victims, forcing himself to remain calm.

"Blair, it's ok. You're safe. I'm Jim, Jim Ellison. You are in my apartment. I took you here after leaving the hospital, yesterday evening, do you remember?"

Blair couldn't speak, his heart was thundering in his chest and he could see only shadows. He knew he was scaring Jim, he remembered him but he could not talk at the moment: his mouth was desert dry and breathing was hard too. He could hear the man speaking to him in a soothing tone but the terror that had gripped him at his sudden movement prevented him to understand his speech. After some minutes, Jim stood up and switched the lights on. Five minutes later, Blair was calm enough to actually answer Jim's questions. At 2.30 a.m. both men were sitting on the couch.

"I'm sorry if I woke you, you were asleep. I just needed to use the bathroom… I still need it!" Blair smiled shyly.

After having released himself, he returned to his place in front of the windows.

"You have a nice place. It fits you very well!" Blair declared to broke the silence.

Both men were embarrassed because of the tense atmosphere between them. Jim had promised Simon to take the kid to the hospital the following day but wasn't sure how Blair would react to his request. He had many questions to ask him too. He just didn't know if he was able to answer him, Jim feared a hysterical reaction from the younger man, since the subject they were going to face was sorrowful. He adverted Blair's tension and realized he had spoken.

"Sorry, Blair, guess I was lost in my mind." He cleared his throat nervously. "You think you're up to answer a few questions?"

Blair's eyes widened. He felt dizzy and lightheaded from fear and exhaustion. He would had preferred to forget the events of the last month, but they were engraved in his memory and he knew it was better for him to talk to someone. Plus, Jim was a police officer, maybe he could help him to arrest the men responsible for his confinement.

"I think so. But I am kind of confused right now, I can't remember how we met. Did we know each other before I was put in the hospital?... I know I must sound really pathetic now, I'm sorry, I just… I just sense I can trust you but I don't remember who you are… I mean, I know your name is Jim because you told me but I can't remember this place… God, I am a mess!" he replied softly, avoiding Jim's gaze.

The detective felt his heart melting at the kid's words. He reassured him and explained him how they met in the parking space in the rain and what he felt and what he did the following days, until he was able to free him. And the reason for he was admitted in the hospital, the evidences he found in his apartment and in the alley where the student was killed. When he was finished, Blair had tears in his eyes.

"It must be hard on you, Chief, I'm sorry. How do you feel?"

"I'm fine… Half of the things you told me… I thought they were dreams! And the other half is confused… in that cell, I lost conception of time and those drugs they gave me… they made me so sleepy and I couldn't think… I feel disconnected! And I don't know what I am going to do with my life… I don't even have a place to stay…"

"Don't worry about that right now. You can stay here as long as you need, until you feel better and you find another apartment."

Blair tried to reply but Jim silenced him gently.

"Would you do me a favor? I promised Simon to take you to the hospital tomorrow, to have you checked up. Just to be sure those orderlies didn't hurt you too bad. But I will not force you if you don't feel up to… Anyway, I think you should go… God knows what drugs they give you in these days…"

Blair, at this point, was fighting hard to get his emotions under control. Jim's attentions, his unconditional loyalty and friendship, made him feel safe like ha had never felt in long time. How could he deny the man anything?

"It's the least I can do for you, Jim."

"Good boy! What would you think if I come with you? Or is it a problem?"

Blair was glad the man had asked him because he didn't know if he could do it alone.

"It's ok. I'm glad you asked me. Don't make me wrong, Jim, but knowing you'll be with me already makes me feel better. Who's Simon, anyway?"

Jim answered all Blair's questions. The kid was actually full of questions. At some point, Jim suggested to continue the conversation upstairs where Blair finally, around 4, fell asleep in his bed.

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 7**

**Reviews are very welcome!**


	7. November 22 part 2

November 22 (Jim's apartment – h 7.30 a.m.)

The annoying trill of the alarm clock awoke Jim from his slumber. He had fallen asleep three and a half hours before beside Blair, who was still sleeping peacefully on his left side facing him. Jim wondered for some minutes what Blair's life had been before this ugly story had started; from what he saw in his apartment he could swear, under normal circumstances, he was a very active guy with a particular taste for ethnic cultures, because of the many carvings he collected and the number of books concerning the subject he got; he should had a very tight schedule too, because his fridge was almost empty except for a bottle of milk and some jam while in the kitchen's cabinets there were only a few items – such as cereals and other strange things he couldn't identify -: it was clear the kid spent very little time at home and probably ate most of his meals at the university or outside. The fridge was covered with colored notes written in many handwritings: phone numbers, appointments, titles of books. Jim figured Blair as a very energetic person, with an open and brilliant mind. The kind of guy that got in trouble because of his curious being and his generous heart. The Blair he met in the hospital was only a distant shadow of the image Jim had of him in his mind. Yet, he was convinced that, with time, Blair would had recovered from his ordeal and return to his usual self. He himself was surprised to wish to still have him around when that time would come but he knew it was his choice. His thoughts were interrupted by a gentle hand on his arm. The kid was awake and looking at him with a concerned expression.

"Jim, are you ok?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

"I'm fine. Sorry if I woke you!"

Relieved that the older man was back to reality, Blair let out a sigh and relaxed. "You had some kind of black out, I think, I woke up and you were watching me closely but when I tried to talk to you, you didn't answer me… you scared me, man! Does that happen to you frequently?"

_Shit!_ Jim thought. _It happened again! _

"I guess I was lost in my thoughts. Don't worry, it must be the very little rest we had tonight." He lied, hoping Blair was finished with his questions. The last thing he needed right now was to explain Blair his "condition" because it sounded crazy to his own ears.

"I wish I could let you sleep a little longer, Blair, but we need to be in the Hospital by 8.30."

At the word Hospital, Jim heard Blair starting in fear. _Ellison, you're a goofy! The kid doesn't need you to scare him anymore than he just is. _"Not _that_ Hospital, Chief. We talked about it yesterday night, do you remember? I asked you if it was ok for you to get checked up today by a doctor."

"Oh, yes, I remember. It's ok, as long as you come with me."

"You don't have to ask! Don't worry, it's just to be sure you're really ok! Now, why don't you take a shower while I make breakfast?"

Blair was glad of the offer, he considered the "shower thing" without anyone's assistance his first step to normality. But the smile died on his lips when he remembered that all his clothes were still in his apartment, and he was pretty sure the landlord had already given them away with all his personal belongings in order to re- rent the place. The thought of an entire life, precisely his own, cancelled in one night made him shiver: without his books, his clothes, his music, his "everything" Blair was lost. The worst part of it was that there few things he would had never replaced, being unique. Not wanting to upset Jim, he forced a sad smile, thanked him and got up. He would had cried his misery in the shower. But Jim, who was not a common guy, understood his discomfort and stopped him before he reached the stairs.

"Chief, wait, aren't you forgetting anything?" he smiled warmly.

"What?"

"Your clothes. I came to your place and packed all of your things before the landlord would sell them. I've got your clothes here, for now."

Blair was watching him like he had grown a second head. "Are you serious, Jim?" he whispered.

"Come here and see by yourself."

In three steps he reached the wardrobe and there, like Jim had announced, there were his clothes and shoes. Unable to say anything, he felt tears in his eyes. He didn't want Jim to see him crying so he launched himself in the wardrobe and retrieved the items he needed. The older man left him alone and went downstairs. It took Blair a few minutes but he eventually calmed down and was able to face his host once again. After the shower, he felt a new man.

"Just one question, Jim." He asked sitting at the kitchen's table. "How did you know about my place? Did you make researches on me?"

Jim knew the kid had every right to know but he had hoped to explain him later. He was going to have a long day at the hospital and he didn't need that emotional stress in addition. "I had to if I wanted to take you out of the Mental Hospital." He explained. "I needed to prove that you were a victim of a crime. I hope it doesn't upset you."

Blair didn't reply immediately and Jim felt he had done the wrong choice. _I should have waited to tell him. Ellison, you're an idiot!_

But then Blair smiled to him. "I'm not upset. You have no idea how wonderful you are, Jim. I mean, you took care of things for me while you didn't even know me. I still don't know why you did it or why you took me here with you… but I am glad you decided this way." _And I feel something for you, Jim, I just don't know how to call it but it's here; I feel safe when you're with me and I wish I had met you before this horrible story happened. _

"I would had done it in any case, it's my job, you know?" _But you are special Blair. I hope I will have a chance to tell you._ "Come on, let's eat this huge breakfast I made for us. I hope you like it."

They kept on talking quietly until they were in Jim's car. Blair fell silent; he was watching outside the window even if he wasn't particularly interested in the city landscape but he felt nervous and he was trying to avoid Jim's concerned expression. But the guy wasn't so easy to fool.

"Are you nervous about the Hospital, Blair?"

"A little" Blair admitted.

"If I were you, I would be nervous too but there is nothing you need to be afraid of. And when you're finished, we can stop to dinner in any place you want. I'll let you choose which one. And, please, notice this is a privilege I do not offer too much!" Jim offered, trying to distract the younger man from his dark thoughts. But it didn't work.

"Why dinner? Will they take so long? What are they gonna do to me?" Blair asked in sudden agitation, finally facing Jim.

"I want to tell you something, Chief. About a year ago, my partner and I were hurt in a gunfire. I was lucky, the bullet hit me in my left leg, it took me some time but I got back as before; but my partner's injury was more serious than mine and he spent two months in the hospital. I thought he would had been glad to be back at work and that we would had worked together again, but he said that he couldn't risk to leave his family alone again. In the first days of his hospitalization the doctor were not sure he would had survived. When he came to, he swore to his wife to change life because he didn't want her and the children to suffer for him as they did in that occasion. So he resigned. Simon assigned me another partner but it didn't work, I was more and more nervous and irritable. Until he forced me to see the department's psychologist. I didn't want to but Simon made very clear that I had no chance to come back if I didn't. So, about six months ago, I was driving to the precinct extremely nervous because I felt I didn't need any help, like you are now. The first two or three sessions were quite hard. But she really helped me, Chief. I thought I was ok but I was not. Talking to someone not involved in my personal events helped me, she made me understand I had many other ways to react to the emotional stress I was living. If I had refused the psychological therapy, I would had ended bad, real bad. Now I understand it but at the beginning it was really hard."

Blair felt his chest tighten with panic. "So, am I going to see a shrink? Haven't I been analyzed enough? Are they going to give me drugs? Because I really don't want to go through that again. If your story was to convince me to accept another therapy, well I'm sorry to displease you but I won't do it again. No way, man!"

"I know, Chief. Don't worry. Amy will not force you to do anything you don't want, nor will I. She only wants to talk to you."

"So, it's Amy now? Is she your friend?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes. She is a very good woman, I'm sure you'll like her. She is a good listener. She helped me very much."

Blair sighed. He knew Jim was right, he was only trying to help but he had had enough of Hospitals and doctors in the month he spent in the Clinic. _It's not his fault, get a grip Blair!_

"Thanks, Jim. I didn't mean to jump on you like I did, I'm just… messed-up right now…" the kid admitted.

"Don't worry. I understand. Just know that if you need to talk, you can count on me, ok?"

Blair blushed slightly and nodded.

They spent the all day in the Hospital, the doctor run many tests on Blair. The results were comforting. The E.C.T. the kid endured didn't do any damages on his mind and his body. The most critical aspect was the psychological one. But Blair, despite he was tired, accepted to see Amy and actually talked to her for half an hour and agreed to come back to her. Jim felt proud of him.

"So, where are we going to dinner?" Jim asked on their way back to the loft.

"I'm really tired but I'm really hungry too. What about the new Italian Restaurant?"

"I knew you'd choose something strange. Ok, Italian it is."

"I could have said Maghrebi, Jim, that is strange! We'll try Maghrebi cousin another time!"

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 8**

**Please, review! :D**


	8. November 23

November 23

The following morning, Blair awoke tired and confused. If the day before he had been calm and relaxed - at least relaxed enough to spend the whole day in the hospital with doctors making tests, asking questions and making notes on his physical and mental health - and he had truly believed to feel better, now he felt exactly the opposite. First of all, he could not understand why Jim showed such interest for him. They were perfect strangers, they had never met before. Jim was a cop; he was a student. They lived in very different areas of the city. There was no way they could had accidentally met in the past because they had completely different routines. That night, when he had tried to escape from the hospital, he would had died in the rain if not for Jim. Blair knew Jim was convinced to act for the best taking him back inside to his doctor, he didn't know the reasons why he had been admitted. And he had been sincerely kind to him, he had promised to help him and so he did. He took him to his home, let him sleep in his own bed, he also went to his apartment to recollect his things before the landlord could sell them. He was safe now, his captors had been arrested, so why should he feel so tense? Blair had always been taught not to trust cops; well, the exact word his mother used for them was "pigs". She had explained his son that he shouldn't ever, for any reason, trust a pig. Because _"they arrest you, they make you confess what they want!"_ But Blair had learned that often his mother was too extreme in her judgments. She had been a Hippy in the '60s, she had been in many demonstrations against many subject and she had been arrested a couple of times. Blair loved his mother very much, but he had learnt in the last years he had lived on his own that things were actually different from the way Naomi had explained him. But, despite he didn't share his mother's feelings about cops, he still thought he couldn't trust Jim completely. He declared to be a detective, but crime victims shouldn't normally give their depositions to the police station? Why Jim still hadn't took him to? And why he had insisted with his captain to leave him in his own apartment instead of taking him directly to the hospital? The man's behaviour was strange. Sometimes Blair wondered if the detective wanted something more than gratitude and respect from him. What if Jim was not a cop, what if he was a mad man, a maniac and his only purpose was to kidnap him? He was alone in Cascade, his mother was away, as usual, and he had no other relatives. As a consequence of his dark thoughts, he started to experience a strange feeling in his stomach: fear. And it was growing in intensity within each passing minute he spent in that home. He needed to go out, to put some distance between Jim and himself. Unable to stay in bed a second more, he glanced at the clock on the night table: it was 5 a.m. Decision made, Blair carefully put on some clothes without making any noises. Since his jacket was in the wardrobe, he borrowed Jim's one that was at the feet of the bed. It was huge on him, but it didn't matter. Blair's only wish was to leave that place and to be alone. From his elevated position, Blair saw Jim asleep downstairs on the couch and the main door closed, but the keys were on the kitchen table. He descended the stairs silently; despite he felt his own heart thundering in his chest and his breath coming out very laborious, the detective didn't wake up. The most difficult part of his plan was to find the right key to open the door but he was lucky, he found the correct one on his second attempt. Feeling a little light-headed for his success, he had to withstand the urge to immediately run away and carefully closed the door behind him, leaving the keys on the landing near the door. That accomplished, he left the place and disappeared in the night. In the desert streets, he could now breath a little easier; the cold air was nice on his skin because it reminded him of freedom. He was finally free. The strange feeling in his stomach started to fade out and he felt much better. Without noticing it, he started to walk in his old apartment direction.

* * *

Jim awoke around 6.30 a.m., he was stiff and sore because the couch wasn't so comfortable as his own bed. The kid wasn't awake yet – he thought – and since it was early, he decided to have a shower before starting breakfast for them both. The hot water helped him to relax his back muscles and he indulged in the shower a little more than his usual; he didn't hear the telephone ringing and when he came out of the bathroom, freshly shaved and changed in clean clothes, he had to hurry to answer in time at the second call. It was his Captain, clearly worried and agitated, asking about Sandburg and how was he doing.

"He's fine, Simon. The doctors said he is physically fine but he could be a little disoriented and scared for a while, because of Post Traumatic Stress and because of the E.C.T. and the drugs they gave him in the Mental Hospital. All considering, he was surprisingly quiet yesterday. He's still sleeping, if your call hasn't wake him up. I am going to come to the precinct with him today, so he can give you his statement. Isn't it what we decided to do? Are there any problems?"

The older man sighed on the phone.

"Someone paid the bail for the doctor and the orderlies. We had to let them go. I just wanted to make sure the kid is with you. We need to keep him safe, he is our main witness and his testimony is our best chance to put them behind bars. Be careful, Jim. And take him in as soon as you can."

"I will, Simon. We'll be there in an hour!"

"See you later then!"

As soon as Jim closed the call, he headed for the stairs to his bedroom, calling Blair's name but he didn't answer him. Halfway he noticed something wasn't right! Jim's jacket was gone with the kid's clothes and the bed was desert. He remembered now that his keys were not on the kitchen table where he left them the night before. The reality of the situation hit him hard. Blair was gone! He was alone in Cascade with three dangerous men watching for him. Jim was not a religious man, but prayed God to let him find Blair soon…

**TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 9...**

**If you have comment or suggestions, please be my guest! Leave a Review! :D**


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